You suppose you are the trouble

but you are the cure.

You suppose that you are the lock on the door

but you are the key that opens it.

It’s too bad that you want to be someone else.

You don’t see your own face, your own beauty.

Yet, no face is more beautiful than yours.

~rumi

my relationship with words has always been one big on-going love affair. they come into my life and sweep me off my feet, never failing to fascinate me, intrigue me, and touch me in ways i have not been touched before. i am including a list of books that have had the most impact on my journey, all which take a non-dogmatic approach and encourage us to free our minds from tradition and discover for ourselves what our spirits need most. 

this book stays on my bedside table. it reminds me to stay present regardless of what is going on in my life. i reach for this book time and time again as a reminder to let things happen as they naturally need to happen, without force or clever scheme. everything is unfolding as it should and the tao describes this process effortlessly. here is a verse from the book:

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

this book takes takes on a very refreshing approach to relationships. osho dives right into the heart of the matter, without watering down his words, discussing the importance of solitude, which leads to true love and ultimate freedom. here is an excerpt:

love appears as relationship, but begins in deep solitude. when you are absolutely happy in your aloneness – when you don’t need the other at all, when the other is not a need – then you are capable of love. your aloneness is your truth. your aloneness is your divineness.

if you really want to know love, forget about love and remember meditation. if you want to bring roses into your garden, forget about roses and take care of the rosebush. give nourishment to it, water it, take care that it gets the right amount of sun, water. if everything is taken care of, in the right time the roses are destined to come. you cannot bring them earlier, you cannot force them to open up sooner. and you cannot ask a rose to be more perfect.

love never suspects, love is never jealous. love never interferes in the other’s freedom. love never imposes on the other. love brings freedom, love gives freedom.

i have read a few books on buddhism and this one is my favorite. dzigar kongtrul finds freedom through self-reflection and awareness.

we can realize the beauty of our own inner nature when we stop manipulating everything that crosses our path as a way to fortify a sense of self. without feeling threatened or trying to control them, just let things arise naturally and let them be.

the great sages of the past sought and found independence from the preconditioned habits and traditions of society. they spent their time in solitude, developing wakefulness and engaging in deep self-reflection. practitioners who train in courage become true warriors. the war we wage is not with enemies outside of ourselves but with the powerful forces of our own habitual tendencies and negative emotions. 

a friend gave this to me a few years ago. i find it incredibly simple and meaningful with a genuine look at partnerships. it is not so much relationship advice as it is a reminder that love is always available to us if we open our hearts and minds. here are a few words from the book:

you cannot force each other to be or feel a certain way. if you insist on happiness you create misery. if you insist on achievement you create failure. if you insist on a certain behavior you insure its opposite.

but your complete acceptance creates serenity and comfort, and your straightforwardness creates security and honesty.

this is my favorite book. krishnamurti brilliantly communicates the importance of truly understanding self. rather than explaining his philosophy on life, he encourages us to explore our own lives by stripping ourselves of prejudice and preconceived ideas in order to find freedom. here are a few of his words:

so now we are going to investigate ourselves together – not one person explaining while you read, agreeing or disagreeing with him as you follow the words on the page, but taking a journey together, a journey of discovery into the most secret corners of our minds. and to take such a journey we must travel light; we cannot be burdened with opinions, prejudices, and conclusions – all that old furniture we have collected for the last two thousand years and more. you have to be your own teacher and your own disciple. you have to question everything that man has accepted as valuable, as necessary.

freedom is a state of mind – not freedom from something but a sense of freedom, a freedom to doubt and question everything and therefore so intense, active and vigorous that it throws away every form of dependence, slavery, conformity and acceptance.

this came highly recommended 10 years ago by a very special friend, with whom i have since lost touch. it was the first book i read that really spoke to my spirit.

everything you’ll ever need to know is within you. knowledge alone does not suffice; it has no heart. no amount of knowledge will nourish or sustain your spirit; it can never bring you ultimate happiness or peace. life requires more than knowledge; it requires intense feeling and constant energy. life demands right action if knowledge is to come alive.

i hope some day somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight, and that’s all they do. they don’t pull away, they don’t look at your face, they don’t try to kiss you. all they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness to it.

~ from the movie waitress

true art lies in the eyes (and ears) of the beholder. what looks, sounds and feels good to me may not be the least bit appealing to another human being on earth. music has always had the ability to completely transform me to another world. earthy, raw, passionate voices speak right to my heart. i have included a few of my favorite artists that have touched, and continue to touch, my soul.

willie nelson

this creature deserves a blog all to himself. 76 years old and still lives his life exactly the way he wants. this picture, full of beauty, captures the qualities i love about him most…humility, quiet confidence, wisdom, gentleness, a little bit rebel, experience, a life lived. i have always been intrigued by his beautiful soul.

tracy chapman

her music exudes passion and truth. i always feel that her music, every song, is a way for her to say something she can no longer keep locked inside of her, something she must share. and she does it effortlessly without wasting words.

ray lamontagne

musically, he is my favorite artist. i have never experienced anything like it. there are not many artists who can move me with every single one of their songs, but he has a way of doing just that…his voice, his words, his soul, his ability to express every possible emotion. i put him in a category of his own.

annie lennox

i love this picture. it is the cover of her bare album. as an individual and as an artist, she embraces so many of the qualities i admire in a human being: strength, vulnerability, truthfulness, emotion, grace, compassion, authenticity. 

keith urban

i think i have just as much fun watching this sweet thing as i do listening to him. he seems to get sexier by the second. he just came out with a new album, defying gravity, and it is, in my opinion, his best yet. if you click on his photo, you can go straight to his website and hear his sweet new singles, kiss a girl and sweet thing.

tina turner

at 69 years of age, she is still dancing (in heels) as if it is the only thing she has to do. this woman can move like no other. her energy is boundless and her power as a person is beyond measure. she has been pure inspiration for me throughout the years.