i bought this while in austin last week. the poem painted so many little smiles all over my heart when i read it. brian andreas, the artist, turns words into lovely works of art. you can find more of his inspiring creations at story people.

there’s courage involved if you want
to become truth.  there is a broken-

open place in a lover.  where are
those qualities of bravery and sharp

compassion in this group?  what’s the
use of old and frozen thought?  i want

a howling hurt.  this is not a treasury
where gold is stored; this is for copper.

we alchemists look for talent that
can heat up and change.  lukewarm

won’t do. halfhearted holding back,
well-enough getting by?  not here.

~rumi

old, abandoned buildings (and just about anything else that is older than myself) have been fascinating me and pulling me into their presence for as long as i can remember. 

it stands there, alone and worn, stripped of its novelty, full of character and memories, getting better with age, without trying to be anything other than what it is. 

an admirable quality. 

i found this one a few months back and told myself that i would take a picture next time i pass it. so i did. along with the old gas tanks just outside of it. 

i have never been a ‘dip my toes in the water’ kind of girl.

i’m either in or i’m out.

i do it or i don’t. i like it or i won’t.

there is no in-between for me. no pretending. no straddling the fence.

there have been times when i considered trading in my ‘all or nothing’ attitude for an ’everything in moderation’ approach. 

moderation, by definition, is the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance.

restraint? i felt like a wild horse being tamed. not for me.

when i decide to do something, i do it. it becomes a meditation, whether i am sharing, working, listening, dancing, loving or resting. 

my time and energy are precious, so i spend them only on the things and people that feed my spirit, which is essential to living honestly and intimately in every moment. if what i am doing and who i am doing it with does not bring a sense of peace to my life, then i would rather not do it at all.

we have been influenced by society to do as much as humanly possible physically, mentally and emotionally every hour of every day with no time out to process what is happening to us. this leads to multitasking and chaos-induced behavior, which creates unnecessary stress. when we run ourselves ragged doing too much, we miss out on life, the people in it and all the beauty that surrounds us.

i prefer doing one thing at a time, thoroughly and slowly, soaking up every last drop of loveliness in that moment. when i am done, i’ll move on, without looking back…but not a second before.

i wanna touch the earth
i wanna break it in my hands
i wanna grow something wild and unruly

i wanna sleep on the hard ground
in the comfort of your arms
on a pillow of bluebonnets
in a blanket made of stars

i wanna walk and not run
i wanna skip and not fall
i wanna look at the horizon
and not see a building standing tall

i wanna be the only one
for miles and miles
except for maybe you
and your simple smile

~ dixie chicks said it all in a song

i was reminded yesterday, as i took a drive deep into the country, exactly why i moved back to texas. my soul has been craving these wide-open spaces, miles upon miles of green and trees, fresh air, peace and quiet, friendly faces, slow-paced life, front porch sitting and heart-warming smiles for quite some time now.

my time in the backwoods this weekend consisted of all those things and more.

one of my favorite things in the world is having people over and sharing a meal together. so last night i stayed in and cooked dinner for my family. i had some special help from a little sweetheart of mine.

my big helper

 i love using lots of fresh veggies.

i don’t cook asian food too often (and i still have a ways to go to get it just right) but it was wonderful…and the company was even better.

when I close my eyes I see
the way this world shall be when…

• the last child cries for a crust of bread
• the last man dies for just words that he said
• there is shelter over the poorest head
• the last thing we notice is the color of skin
• the first thing we look for is the beauty within
• the skies and the oceans are clean again
• we are free to love anyone we choose
• this world is big enough for all different views
• we all can worship from our own kind of pew
• when money talks for the very last time
• nobody walks a step behind
• there is only one race and that is mankind
• we all walk hand in hand

we shall be free.

~ garth brooks

i remember, as a little girl, feeling the emotion behind songs that talked of love and life, as if i were an 80-year old woman with a past full of wild adventure and heart-wrenching pain. here are a few artists (along with some of my favorite albums by them) that gave me my first taste of music.

kathy mattea

 the definitive collection (2006)

earl thomas conley

 the essential earl thomas conley

kt oslin

 this woman & 80s ladies

trisha yearwood

 inside out & greatest hits

chicago

def leppard

now I become myself.  it’s taken
time, many years and places;
i have been dissolved and shaken,
worn other people’s faces,
run madly, as if time were there,
terribly old, crying a warning,
“hurry, you will be dead before—”
(what?  before you reach the morning?
or the end of the poem is clear?
or love safe in the walled city?)
now to stand still, to be here,
feel my own weight and density!
the black shadow on the paper
is my hand; the shadow of a word
as thought shapes the shaper
falls heavy on the page, is heard.
all fuses now, falls into place
from wish to action, word to silence,
my work, my love, my time, my face
gathered into one intense
gesture of growing like a plant.
as slowly as the ripening fruit
fertile, detached, and always spent.
falls but does not exhaust the root,
so all the poem is, can give,
grows in me to become the song,
made so and rooted so by love.
now there is time and time is young.
o, in this single hour I live
all of myself and do not move.
i, the pursued, who madly ran,
stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

~ may sarton

after hearing his newly released single, today, i pulled out some of gary allan’s old albums and remembered exactly why i love spending hours with nothing but the music and me. the greatest hits and living hard are my favorite albums by him. he’s a little rockin’ & a whole lot country and i dig his music, his captivating voice and the words he chooses to express himself…not to mention his easy-on-the-eyes demeanor.

the time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. eat.
you will love again the stranger who was your self.
give wine. give bread. give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
sit. feast on your life.

~derek walcott

don’t worry about what the world sees when it looks at you. how do you see yourself?

the picture they paint of you makes no difference. discover for yourself where you want to be, what you want to do, who you are when the voices outside of you are silenced. it is only then, when we become detached from others’ forecasts and opinions of our life, that we can truly be content with who we are as an individual, as a lover, as an artist, as a human being, revelling in our very own unconventional world.

kings of leon

the voice.

it is always the voice that does it for me when it comes to music. i like ‘em earthy. raw. passionate. primitive. archaic. unspoiled. unrefined. pure. untamed.

caleb followill has what i am talking about.  

i highly recommend kings of leon’s most recent album, only by the night…especially if your ears prefer something a little rough-around-the-edges. i can’t get enough of it.