During a recent discussion about love, a wise and treasured friend of mine verbalized a notion that prompted a moment of realization for me. “Every time you go into love, you learn how to do it better.” Those seemingly simple words echoed their profound connotation for days after they were spoken, providing me an endless stream of inspiration. If there is one thing that sparks a fire in me, it is love in its entirety.

I’m not talking about the kind of love manufactured and sold in fairy-tales, existing only on the pages of a book. Those legends hold my attention for less than two seconds before I am wondering what on earth happens after the knight and his lovely lady jump down off the white horse and discover that life consists of much more than smoldering sunsets and shining armor.

The all-encompassing love I find so riveting is not constructed overnight, but rather assembled meticulously by two human beings who weather the seasons in a state of unreserved vulnerability. In every relationship, we uncover little truths about ourselves, identifying what we want, what we don’t want, where we will compromise and where we must stand our ground. These findings that ensue only through experience make us better partners, better friends, and indefinitely, better lovers.

I remember hearing those three uncomplicated words – “like your partner” – years ago and not really understanding what they meant until i saw dozens of “happy” marriages, that seemed so solid and real to me, disintegrate before my eyes. Love at first, or even second, sight is thrilling and can leave us high for months on end. But even more fascinating, is the evolution that takes place between two people who have endured grim moments of calamity together. As necessary as it may be for many of us, breathtaking and blazing passion can only take us so far. Something much more profound than carnal desires is needed to withstand challenging bouts that leave us questioning our feelings for another. Happily-ever-after is the result of two people holding steady through hints of hopelessness after realizing perfection is unattainable.

We don’t always figure it out the first time around. Not every relationship will stand the test of time, nor is it meant to last forever. The quality of our time together and the rich moments shared is much more important than the length of our stay. Each partner offers us gifts that we can carry with us on our journey, lessons that will be useful to us in all of the relationships to come. Our match made in heaven shows up when, and only when, we are capable of knowing what to do with it. And if we are still unsure how to handle the rough patches with our fresh lover, angels will fly above and guide us in the right direction, granting us plenty of room for mistakes and growth, as we continue to learn how to do it better.

we get better with age. i truly believe this. when i look around at the people who intrigue me the most, it is those who navigate their way through life with passion and curiosity even after years of experience and disappointment. those who waltz fiercely through the fire, only to come out on the other side frayed and burned, but all the wiser for it, while maintaining a sense of innocence. those who resist becoming jaded after discovering countless times that adversity lurks just around the corner. those who love a little deeper each time they encounter the sure-fire fears that arise with every new object of affection, regardless of the potential heartache that lies ahead.

the world’s oldest newlywed couple, 100-year old forrest and 90-year old rose, married in march after 28 years of dating. the touching love story included a piece of solid advice that seems so simple but rings so true:

“Take your time and get to know one another. Get to know if you like all the things that person stands for. Be forgiving and patient and say I love you once in a while.”  - words of wisdom by world’s oldest newlyweds (pictured above)

This is the kind of Friend You are-
Without making me realize my soul’s anguished history,
You slip into my house at night,
And while I am sleeping,
You silently carry off all my suffering and sordid past in Your beautiful Hands.

- Hafiz

If you’re really listening
If you’re awake to the poignant beauty of the world,
your heart breaks regularly.
In fact, your heart is made to break,
it’s purpose is to burst open again and again
so that it can hold evermore wonder.

~andrew harvey

your love

should never be offered to the mouth of a stranger

only to someone

who has the valor and daring

to cut pieces of their soul off with a knife

then weave them into a blanket

to protect you.

hafiz

come away with me to santa barbara for four days of tranquility, where you will indulge in rejuvenating yoga, nourishing food, and unlimited solace at white lotus foundation.

Price Includes:

• yoga classes for all levels in a supportive and nurturing environment
• all meals provided (breakfast, lunch, dinner and light snacks)
• cozy yurts with beautiful balinese beds for deep slumber
• 40 acres of hiking trails, waterfalls, natural pools & flowing creek
• free time for lounging, napping, exploring, and reading
• guided meditation in a modern-day hopi

From the beginning of my life
I have been looking for your face
but today I have seen it

Today I have seen
the charm, the beauty,
the unfathomable grace
of the face
that I was looking for

Today I have found you
and those who laughed
and scorned me yesterday
are sorry that they were not looking
as I did

I am bewildered by the magnificence
of your beauty
and wish to see you
with a hundred eyes

My heart has burned with passion
and has searched forever
for this wondrous beauty
that I now behold

I am ashamed
to call this love human
and afraid of God
to call it divine

Your fragrant breath
like the morning breeze
has come to the stillness of the garden
You have breathed new life into me
I have become your sunshine
and also your shadow

My soul is screaming in ecstacy
Every fiber of my being
is in love with you

Your efflugence
has lit a fire in my heart
for me
the earth and sky

My arrow of love
has arrived at the target
I am in the house of mercy
and my heart
is a place of prayer

rumi

quote by rumi

quote by hafiz

Some commentary clarifies,

but with love silence is clearer.

A pen goes scribbling along,

but when it tries to write love,

it breaks!

If you want to expound on love,

take your intellect out

and let it lie down in the mud.

~ rumi

- maya angelou / photo unknown

Then it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts,
the depths where neither sin nor desire can reach,
the person that each one is in God’s eyes.
If only they could see themselves as they really are.
If only we could see each other that way,
there would be no reason for war, for hatred, for cruelty…
I suppose the big problem would be that
we would fall down and worship each other.

- Thomas Merton