i love those two hour, life-changing naps that slowly remove the foggy spectacles distorting my view, as i drift off to dream of all the magical places my gypsy soul longs to be, while curled up under the many blankets spread across my bed after spontaneously deciding to lie down for just a few minutes to rest my eyes. when i awake, all is right in the world.

i LOVE those kind of naps.

my sweet and lovely friend, sara mednick, who not only gives the best hugs in the world, but also shares my love for this type of slumber, has written a book about the beautiful effects of sleep called take a nap.

you can visit her website here.

while on hiatus, i am rediscovering joys that were temporarily misplaced, including my love for a good novel while curled up under the covers, losing track of time, waltzing into a world of characters, both eccentric and familiar, that brings to light the hidden pleasures of ordinary moments. books find me, not the other way around, with a story that gently pulls me in, a well-kept secret i can no longer live without, capturing my attention until i am fully aware of the message it is trying to convey, reminding me of all that i may (or may not) have forgotten. 

my relationship with words has always been one big on-going love affair. they come into my life and sweep me off my feet, never failing to fascinate me, intrigue me, and touch me in ways i have not been touched before. i am including a list of books that have had the most impact on my journey, all which take a non-dogmatic approach and encourage us to free our minds from tradition and discover for ourselves what our spirits need most. 

this book stays on my bedside table. it reminds me to stay present regardless of what is going on in my life. i reach for this book time and time again as a reminder to let things happen as they naturally need to happen, without force or clever scheme. everything is unfolding as it should and the tao describes this process effortlessly. here is a verse from the book:

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

this book takes takes on a very refreshing approach to relationships. osho dives right into the heart of the matter, without watering down his words, discussing the importance of solitude, which leads to true love and ultimate freedom. here is an excerpt:

love appears as relationship, but begins in deep solitude. when you are absolutely happy in your aloneness – when you don’t need the other at all, when the other is not a need – then you are capable of love. your aloneness is your truth. your aloneness is your divineness.

if you really want to know love, forget about love and remember meditation. if you want to bring roses into your garden, forget about roses and take care of the rosebush. give nourishment to it, water it, take care that it gets the right amount of sun, water. if everything is taken care of, in the right time the roses are destined to come. you cannot bring them earlier, you cannot force them to open up sooner. and you cannot ask a rose to be more perfect.

love never suspects, love is never jealous. love never interferes in the other’s freedom. love never imposes on the other. love brings freedom, love gives freedom.

i have read a few books on buddhism and this one is my favorite. dzigar kongtrul finds freedom through self-reflection and awareness.

we can realize the beauty of our own inner nature when we stop manipulating everything that crosses our path as a way to fortify a sense of self. without feeling threatened or trying to control them, just let things arise naturally and let them be.

the great sages of the past sought and found independence from the preconditioned habits and traditions of society. they spent their time in solitude, developing wakefulness and engaging in deep self-reflection. practitioners who train in courage become true warriors. the war we wage is not with enemies outside of ourselves but with the powerful forces of our own habitual tendencies and negative emotions. 

a friend gave this to me a few years ago. i find it incredibly simple and meaningful with a genuine look at partnerships. it is not so much relationship advice as it is a reminder that love is always available to us if we open our hearts and minds. here are a few words from the book:

you cannot force each other to be or feel a certain way. if you insist on happiness you create misery. if you insist on achievement you create failure. if you insist on a certain behavior you insure its opposite.

but your complete acceptance creates serenity and comfort, and your straightforwardness creates security and honesty.

this is my favorite book. krishnamurti brilliantly communicates the importance of truly understanding self. rather than explaining his philosophy on life, he encourages us to explore our own lives by stripping ourselves of prejudice and preconceived ideas in order to find freedom. here are a few of his words:

so now we are going to investigate ourselves together – not one person explaining while you read, agreeing or disagreeing with him as you follow the words on the page, but taking a journey together, a journey of discovery into the most secret corners of our minds. and to take such a journey we must travel light; we cannot be burdened with opinions, prejudices, and conclusions – all that old furniture we have collected for the last two thousand years and more. you have to be your own teacher and your own disciple. you have to question everything that man has accepted as valuable, as necessary.

freedom is a state of mind – not freedom from something but a sense of freedom, a freedom to doubt and question everything and therefore so intense, active and vigorous that it throws away every form of dependence, slavery, conformity and acceptance.

this came highly recommended 10 years ago by a very special friend, with whom i have since lost touch. it was the first book i read that really spoke to my spirit.

everything you’ll ever need to know is within you. knowledge alone does not suffice; it has no heart. no amount of knowledge will nourish or sustain your spirit; it can never bring you ultimate happiness or peace. life requires more than knowledge; it requires intense feeling and constant energy. life demands right action if knowledge is to come alive.

when i was 22, a friend of mine recommended this book to me. after reading just a few pages, i thought i had stumbled upon the most fascinating secrets regarding a woman’s body and her intuition. throughout the years, i have met many women who feel this book brings a new awareness to their lives and the significant choices they make on a daily basis. christiane northrup, a medical doctor who approaches women’s health from a medical and holistic standpoint, encourages women to get in touch with our own bodies and inner wisdom to heal ourselves physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally; to explore who we are as individuals and look to our own intuition for answers. i have included a few paragraphs from the book to share with you:

there is a difference between healing and curing. healing is a natural process and is within the power of everyone. curing, which is what doctors are called upon to do, usually consists of an external treatment; medication or surgery is used to mask or eliminate symptoms. this external treatment doesn’t necessarily address the factors that contributed to the symptoms in the first place. healing goes deeper than curing and must always come from within. it address the imbalance that underlies the symptoms. healing brings together the often hidden aspects of a person’s life as they relate to her illness. 

although our entire bodies are affected by our thoughts and emotions and their various parts talk to each other, each individual’s body language is unique. no matter what has happened in her life, a woman has the power to change what that experience means to her and thus change her experience, both emotionally and physically.

we are meant to move toward whatever gives us fulfillment, personal growth and freedom. we are born knowing what activities, things, thoughts and feelings are associated with these qualities. we must learn to trust ourselves and know that we can naturally move toward that which is healing and fulfilling.

many people have been taught that they can’t have what they want and that a life full of struggle is somehow more honorable than one full of joy. we have also been taught to distrust something if it is too fulfilling or too much fun. this belief is reflected in our bodies.

in addition to knowing what we do want, we have the capacity to know what we don’t want. the ability to say no to what doesn’t support us is an essential part of our inner guidance system. it is never too late to start saying no to those things that drain you and yes to those that replenish you.

only our connection with our own inner guidance and our emotions is reliable in the end. that is because we each comprise a multitude of processes that have never existed before and never will again. science must acknowledge truthfully how much it does not know and leave room for mystery, miracles and the wisdom of nature.

remaining unconscious about our acculturated habits takes an enormous emotional and physical toll on our bodies and spirits. these habits keep us from being connected with our inner guidance and our emotions. this disconnection, in turn, keeps us in a state of pain that increases the longer we deny it. it takes a lot of energy to stay out of touch with this pain, and we often turn to acculturated habits, such as addictive substances, to keep us from confronting that unhappiness and pain.

 this book, which was given to me as a gift, gracefully explores the possibility of combining independence and freedom as an individual with love and partnership. i have included an excerpt from this beloved book, gift from the sea by anne morrow lindbergh:

i must find a balance…a swinging of the pendulum between solitude and communion, between retreat and return.

a good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. the partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern. there is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing, because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it.

when each partner loves so completely that he has forgotten to ask himself whether or not he is loved in return; when he only knows that he loves and is moving to its music – then, and then only, are two people able to dance perfectly in tune to the same rhythm.

when you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. it is an impossibility. it is even a lie to pretend to. and yet this is exactly what most of us demand. we have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. we insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern. the only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. 

both partners are lost in a common sea of the universal which absorbs and yet frees, which separates and yet unites. is this not what the more mature relationship, the meeting of two solitudes, is meant to be?